30 years out

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Posts by 30 years out

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  54

  Growing up a Jehovah's Witness - New Video

  by jwfacts in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have put together a video - growing up a jehovah's witness 1960 -2010. it aims to show the things a witnesses would be taught as they age over those decades.

  it is 15 minutes long.

  this is my first attempt at a video and it took a while to work out how to use final cut, so please feel free to make suggestions if anything should be changed.

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  30 years out

  Jwfacts:

  I enjoyed it this very much. It is very well put together and presented with dignity and style. If it helps even one person it is worth your effort.

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  A Lawyer Examines Jehovah's Witnesses

  by Nickolas in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  get a load of this bit of propaganda issued by a watchtower apologist.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m-j-mprtsi.

  at least they're not blocking comments just yet..

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  30 years out

  Except for being born and raised Roman Catholic, my Grandfather told of the very same experience. Some stories are classics and no matter how many times you tell them they never get old they are timeless. It is all too scripted for me to buy it.

  It will make for a wonderful dinner conversation using the Yearbook as a guide, or do they not print that anymore?

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  Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

  by junebug_11 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok, quick run down of my situation.. .

  1. i am not religious.

  my now-fiance was raised jw but left the religion about 10 years ago.. 2. we started dating last march, i got pregnant within two weeks.

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  30 years out

  Junebug:

  Your post is truly heartbreaking and I am so sorry you find yourself in this position. Several others have already said it, but there is little to no hope of a happy ending to this story as it is currently unfolding.

  If your fiance does return to the church you will be expected to acquiesce to your husband's guidance and wishes in all aspects of your life including the health and welfare of your child. You can expect a lifetime of challenges to your concerns, beliefs, and feelings and a relentless effort to beat you into submission.

  Please do not confuse the smiles and pseudo concern of the members of his congregation with genuine feelings. They are selling you a used car and as soon as the ink is dry on the contract those broad smiles will vanish.

  I really wish there was something positive I could add to this post, but there isn't. Get out now and make sure you have a fair and legally binding parenting plan with child support.

  Blessings:

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  My Trip to the Unitarian Universal Church

  by NewChapter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, pretty much i no longer care to believe in a god.

  but, either because of my 20 years in a jw daze, or because humans just desire this, i miss the community.

  so, i went to a unitarian church this morning.

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  30 years out

  I have attended the UU near me and find it to be a very good fit for me. Some congregations with which I have participated are very vibrant, but some do lack in the inspiration department.

  In a UU you are encouraged to think, question and be open to all paths. The local group had a class on designing your own theology. Meditation is encouraged and inclusiveness is the standard. There is no creed or doctrine to which to subscribe and being civil to all of nature is the only rule. If I were to join another organized church it would be the UU.

  Thomas Jefferson was perhaps the most notable and famous Universalist, even writing "The Jefferson Bible" which is an account of the life of the prophet Jesus and his teachings. Rather than espousing the pivotal christian teaching of a resurrection fable, his account simply ends with the words "and he died".

  Thanks Newchapter for bringing it up:

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  Hello JWN

  by johny5 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello everyone,.

  also hello bethel, you can tell your superiors there is another one that no longer accepts your authority.. right now, i just want to say hello.. i think everyone understand what is to wake up to reality.. .

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  30 years out

  Welcome!
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  I Did a Stupid Thing Recently

  by 30 years out in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  facebook has been a valuable tool for finding old friends and catching up on years lost making a living and pursuing our own visions of happiness.

  in one of my less inspired moments i decided to look up an old witness friend and roommate from my days in the church.

  he had never impressed me as being particularly strong in the faith so i was truly interested to find out what he had been up to for nearly 30 years and if he was still "in".. i located him through his sister's fb page and sent a message to his account stating who i was and that i would be very interested in hearing from him and catching up.

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  30 years out

  Facebook has been a valuable tool for finding old friends and catching up on years lost making a living and pursuing our own visions of happiness. In one of my less inspired moments I decided to look up an old witness friend and roommate from my days in the church. He had never impressed me as being particularly strong in the faith so I was truly interested to find out what he had been up to for nearly 30 years and if he was still "in".

  I located him through his sister's FB page and sent a message to his account stating who I was and that I would be very interested in hearing from him and catching up. I then went on to state that I am not involved with the organization and due to situations in my life I have no intention of changing that so if that affects his choice I would understand.

  I then waited for about 5 weeks and when I did not receive a reply of any sort, I went back to find his profile had been deleted from every related page I could open. When my partner over heard me laughing I had to explain that they are so weak in their faith that a simple "no thank you" is too scary. Mind you I am 2,000 miles away from this person.

  I am sure many of you must have had similar experiences which would be hilarious if not for being so pathetic. We are a wicked, wicked bunch and lovin' it.

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  I had an emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive father

  by gubberningbody in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he is/was a big man, intelligent affable and charming at times and yet inconstant and scary at other times.. years later in explanation to me he said.... "you know i loved you.".

  i said in reply:.

  "what does that matter if i didn't feel loved?".

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  30 years out

  Been there too. Mine was an unpredictable powder keg of a man who had an Irish temper that would lash out without warning.

  I once listened to an adult child of an alcoholic father who talked about never knowing what would set off the tirade, but just walking on eggshells knowing something would, and I remarked that I almost wished my father had been an addict so that there would have been some logical explanation for his actions.

  This man was the presiding elder for many years in his congregation, setting the example for everyone else there while he created a total disaster in his own home. I contend that he did not worship a loving god at all, but rather enjoyed playing the role of enforcer for a god who exacted the severest punishments for the smallest transgressions.

  As an adult I presented him with evidence of his hypocrisy and found it humorous to watch him try to control his growing outrage at having to confront the real truth.

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  New to the Board

  by 30 years out in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am finally on board after lurking here for quite some time.

  i have been impressed and depressed by what i have seen here and hope i can add something meaningful.

  a little personal history: i was born the son of the then "congregation servant" and his wife.

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  30 years out

  Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. It is amazing how deeply engrained the teachings can be and each time we overcome one we have a moment of triumph.

  In answer to some of your questions: I do have a very strong relationship with my daughter and grand children even though we are separated by several states we do a video call every weekend and daily emails. Part of what made it difficult for me to help my DF'd relatives is that while they were going out of their way to avoid giving their local witnesses the opportunity to shun them, I frequently will intentionally put myself in their way to watch how silly they look making their little "point".

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  New to the Board

  by 30 years out in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am finally on board after lurking here for quite some time.

  i have been impressed and depressed by what i have seen here and hope i can add something meaningful.

  a little personal history: i was born the son of the then "congregation servant" and his wife.

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  30 years out

  Actually I was contacted by 2 family members from the midwest who had recently been DF'd and one of them was having a lot of difficulty with the shunning she was enduring. Since I had been out for so long I was at a loss to help them and began looking for info to pass along to them.

  After stumbling onto this site and reading some of the experiences it all came back and I realized that most of us needed professional help which we never received. I found that even with being away for so long there are still issues I have never dealt with completely. I had no one to talk to about my situation back then and I hope I can save someone a little bit of the anguish by giving them an alternative way to see the world.

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  New to the Board

  by 30 years out in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am finally on board after lurking here for quite some time.

  i have been impressed and depressed by what i have seen here and hope i can add something meaningful.

  a little personal history: i was born the son of the then "congregation servant" and his wife.

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  30 years out

  Hello Everyone:

  I am finally on board after lurking here for quite some time. I have been impressed and depressed by what I have seen here and hope I can add something meaningful.

  A little personal history: I was born the son of the then "Congregation Servant" and his wife. In my early teens I came to realize that I was Gay, but was equally determined to "get over it" which led me to become a regular pioneer, and later marry a witness and have a child before the marriage imploded after 2 years.

  By this time I was very disillusioned with the doctrine and function of the congregation and had begun to fade. I met and my second wife in 1981 (still hoping to get over the Gay issue). We were living together and I was smoking so my sister in law decided her faith was so strong that she must report my transgressions to the elders in her congregation. These were men I did no know since I had never attended their congregation and I told them that I did not recognize their authority and was not willing to change my behavior based on their frequent unwanted visits.

  The congregation was cleansed of my presence in late 1981 and the only family member who still maintained a relationship with me was my brother who had, by then, faded as well. The man I came to call my "birth father" continued in his position as an elder until his passing late last year. I did visit on several occasions during his final 2 months, but I refused to attend the memorial service held in their KH. I explained that it would violate my conscience to participate in an act of worship in a house of worship I find to be false and abhorrent.

  In 1995 my second marriage ended and I was finally able to admit to myself and the world that I am and always have been a Gay man who until the age of 40 had lived a lie. At this point my faded brother decided he could no longer stomach a relationship with me. My life partner and I have been together for 14 years now and we continue to build toward our future together.

  Looking forward to participating in the banter here in the future:

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